Look Out America!
by Potestas
Summary: The sequal to Turn Around Again [by potestas and mulch diggums]: When Artemis and Kira get assigned to a mission in the USA, Artemis pretends to be 'cool', Kira almost acts like Mary Sue, and Opal Koboi's assistent is out to get them!
1. Little Lies

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head"**

Look Out America

Chapter 1: Little Lie

It was a long school year. But summer did come. And when it did it was weird. Kira's mom had moved them back to America. She apparently didn't like the smell of Ireland or something weird. Her excuse for not keeping in contact with Artemis was that, she didn't want him to know she lived there. They were considered stupid, Americans, and every method of communication gave some hint that she wasn't in Ireland.

Of course, being Artemis, he tried as hard as he could to find her, utilizing all of his Irish contacts. Because she was Irish, of course. She'd told him so.

The end of summer finally came and, like her mother had promised, Kira and Thom could go to Ireland for school. There was a big party the day everyone arrived.

Kira found her boyfriend ('HA! I love saying that!' she thought.) Sitting at one of the tables, messing around on his laptop.

She choose the casual approach. So, she just sat down and didn't say anything.

He glanced up slightly. "I know you," he said.

"Really?" Kira asked vaguely.

"Hmm. I've seen you around a few times. I'm Fowl, Artemis Fowl." He stuck out his hand.

"This is really stupid." Kira told him.

"Oh. I was going for funny. Sorry." He pulled her into a hug. Just a friendly one, Kira was sad to notice.

OK. She was noticing stages. Funny to happy, next was..."WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL SUMMER!"

She jumped. "LA," her traitorous mouth said.

"What?" he asked. "LA, as in Lounging Around. Duh, don't you know that?" Kira saved herself.

"And what with all this 'LAing' you had no time whatsoever to call?"

"My brother was on the phone all summer." said Kira nodding her head.

"How terrible."

"Now don't be like that! This is probably the only day we wont have to study! Lets have fun!" Kira smiled.

Artemis smiled back, but something was niggling at the rear of his brain.

"Hi, Thom." Kira waved to behind Artemis.

"Kira! So, still treating' my sister right, Fowl?"

"Thom, you can stop pretending we haven't seen each other in a while. I just drove here with you." Kira said.

"Fine. I'm never getting in a car with you again. Susie's got a cow on her head, indeed."

"Have you seen Mary Sue yet, Thom?" asked Artemis.

Thom shuddered. "Yes. And I was with one of her friends at the time... Not even doing anything!" Kira giggled as Thom went off on the story.

The principal's voice came on the speakers. "STUDENTS, ALL STUDENTS TO GO TO DORM ROOMS NOW." Everyone sighed.

"Bye!"

Kira said.

That night Holly called Artemis.

"Hey Arty! How's school life?"

"Oh, it fabulous. Why are you calling?"

"See, I've got a job. In America. I need a couple humans..."

"Involving?" Artemis asked. "Well," Holly began, 'I hate to admit this but we need someone with enough brains to figure out a very complicated situation."

"And that is me, I assume? Who else?"

"Someone that can fit in with the Americans. Someone who can mingle with them trick them. Knows there ways. I was thinking you little girlfriend." Holly taunted.

"What? She's Irish!"

"Oh, she didn't tell you?" Holly looked embarrassed. "Maybe you should call me back when you sort that out then." she hung up to quickly for Artemis to say goodbye.

"Well. At least she's not meddling anymore."

Artemis sat and thought for a moment. He quickly ran a search on Google. There it was proof. Kira lived in LA. She had an article in the paper there for moving to Ireland and back.

"Lounging Around, my left foot." It was time to call Kira.

He chooses the nice approach first. "Hey, Kira. Want to come over here for a second?" He asked.

"OK. Hey, wait. Did you know the school got an IM service? Do you want to do that instead, or do you need to see me face to face?"

"Face to face would be nice for this particular occasion." Artemis said dryly.

"Alrighty. See ya soon!"

As soon as Kira walked into the room she was confronted.

"Lounging Around? Or Los Angeles?"

"Depends on if you know the truth or not." Kira said eyes wide. 'Oh great'

"Yes, I found out. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I'm stupid?" Kira offered.

"No. I think I might understand. But that's not important. Holly needs both of us for a job. In your home country."

"Your not mad?" Kira asked astounded. "How could you not be mad at me?"

"I've lied about my heritage many times. You have your reasons; I won't hold it against you."

"What if the reason was I didn't think you should know? Because I thought you would over react?" asked Kira.

"Kira. Can we drop it? Holly needs us!"

"Why aren't you mad at me?" Kira asked.

"What? You want me to be? Fine. You should have told me, I wouldn't have overreacted like you obviously are, and WILL YOU DROP IT!"

"Now that's anger! Now I can drop it." Kira smiled. "And why are you standing there like a moron? Holly needs us!" Kira finally dropped her accent.\

Artemis rolled his eyes. "Females!"

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Hey People! This is Potestas and MulchDiggums, Ya, this is the sequal to "Turn Around Again" and this one is better. We admit. The other had a few problems and was a little immature. We hope you like this better. Review Please.


	2. Speaking Slang

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, and Randy. **

Look Out America

Chapter 2: Speaking Slang

They immediately called Holly.

"Hey, Holl'. Sup?" Kira asked, happy to be using her normal accent.

"I liked you better Irish." said Artemis. Kira stuck out her tongue.

"OK, let's keep it PG, kids. Now, can you get to America yourselves?"

"We'll I'm not sure I'm even going! And Artemis can't freakin' go! He would never survive that kinda crowd!" Kira stated.

"Excuse me? You could help me. And I'm sure you want to see America again."

"Well, sure. But what about Thom? And maybe our parents would notice if they called the school and we weren't there." Kira said in the 'duh' tone.

Holly paused to think. "He can stay and cover for you!"

"OK, yeah were twins but if you haven't noticed WE DON'T LOOK ALIKE!"

"Good grief. I didn't mean like that."

"How about notes? Call your mom and tell her the school only accepts letters now. We can get Thom to write back as you. We can mesmerize Thom into not knowing he's doing it." Artemis spoke.

"Yes! Good!"

said Holly.

"OK. Then it's set. But I won't be helping you mesmerize Thom." Kira stated.

"WHAT!"

"I can't do that to my own brother!" Kira argued.

"Kira, it's fairly life or death here. We need your help!" Artemis argued.

"The most I'll do is make him come her. Then you do your mezmer-thingy." Kira picked up her phone and dialed Thom's dorm. "Hello?" asked Thom's voice. Yo, get over her now, A's dorm and drop the accent 'cause it's out. Later!" Kira hung up.

Holly raised an eyebrow. "What?" Kira asked.

Artemis was in more shock. "So I used slang. Like no one over here ever does!" Kira said protectively.

"Yo?" Artemis asked weakly.

"Pay attention. You'll have to talk like that soon." Kira said laughing at the thought.

"Yo? I should think not!"

Kira was about to retaliate when Thom walked through the door. "Hey, wassup dudes!" Thom said as he walked in.

Artemis visibly winced. "Too much slang for me today."

"Hey, Thom? Look at this!" Kira said deciding last minute to help anyway. "What?" asked Thom before he became mesmerized.

Kira sat on her bed. "I feel bad."

"It OK." said Artemis.

She giggled. "Are you trying to speak Gangsta? Please, don't."

"Well, I was just trying to fit in." Artemis defended himself.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight." Kira dissolved into helpless giggles. "It Ok! Ha!"

Artemis gave her a helpless look.

"Sorry," she gasped. "It was just so funny!"

Artemis raised his left eyebrow.

"Right. So, Holly, when do we leave?" asked Kira.

"Ummm..." They heard a few clicks. "Tomorrow."

"Good. Are we unaccompanied minors, or shall Butler join us?" asked Artemis.

"Let's go for Unaccompanied minors. American Teens aren't used to seein' man mountains." Kira stated.

"Erg. Condescending flight attendants." Artemis complained.

"Well, bye Holly!" they said and Holly hung up.

1234ON THE PLANE1234

"I hate them," Artemis whispered to Kira, his 'sister' for the next hour and a half.

"Their just flight attendants, Artemis." Kira said impatiently.

"They call me 'Sweetie.' 'Pumpkin.' 'Honey.' Make them stop!"

"Its only 10 minutes longer! You've complained the flight away!" Kira whisper/yelled.

"Good. It passed the time well." Artemis smirked.

"Once we get off this plane you are no longer my brother and I can hurt you!" Kira threatened.

"I'm so scared."

"Very Funny. But people in America aren't as nice as the Irish. Americans tend to use guns instead of words."

"I saw you go through security."

Kira smirked. She hated it when he won.

Later At Grameans School For Girls And Boys

"-most prestigious co-ed boarding school in America..." Kira tuned out the rest of the boring speech. They had been lucky to find this school. Or at least, had some Fairy luck. Two students, Daniel Davis and Brittlyn Moore had been mesmerized to go to a different school instead.

"To figure out what's going on here we have to gain popularity." Kira told Artemis. "And how do you propose we do that?" asked Artemis. "Well in America there is only one way."

Artemis gulped. This did not sound good.

"Guess!" Kira asked. "No thanks!" he shuddered.

"Please?" Kira used her puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. I have to eat a whole tub of Cole slaw?"

"Seriously." Kira stated.

"I was serious. I saw it on a very strange movie on cable one time." Artemis said offended.

"Dating. Stupid." Kira said exasperated.

"Oh. We can do that, can't we?"

"Well, yeah. But let me just say that we have to act a little bit more like Mary Sue did when she was with Ryan." Kira winced at the thought.

Ryan was Mary's first boyfriend at their old school. The pair had been more... physical then most. If you catch my meaning.

The speech was finally over and it was time for dinner.

"Think it'll be eatable?" Kira asked.

"Possibly." said Artemis. That was there pathetic before-meal talk. Then they walked into the Cafeteria. Which was full of...couples.

"Oh." was all Artemis could say.

"Welcome to my world." Kira said smiling falsely.

"I think I want mine back," he whispered.

But Kira was All-American now. A girl with pink hair walked up to them. "Hey, wassup? I'm Jadas Are you new?" she asked. "Oh, yeah. But don't worry I think we can probably survive. It's not like the teachers are, like, hard! They probably like, reading and crap!" Kira replied.

"Lol!" The girl said. "Oh my Gosh, did I just say that! Too much IM"!

"Totally!" Kira and the girl laughed together and then the girl walked away. Artemis was dumbfounded.

"Um, translation?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter." Kira said. "but you need to act more like a typical American teenage boy!" she scolded. "How do you propose I do that?" asked Artemis smartly. "Look around and copy others." Kira replied as they sat down.

"How!" he hissed at her.

"Freakin''' Look at what other guys are doing and copy them!" Kira said slightly overwhelmed.

He looked around. "OK." he began eating, ignoring Kira.

Kira looked up after a few minutes. "I know who the populars are now." she said. "We need to act like them." she pointed to a group consisting of 3 guys and 4 girls. "Copy them, and were in." Kira said.

"That is so... lame?"

"Totally." said Kira.

He rolled his eyes and went back to copying the 'populars'

This was surprisingly hard.  
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To those who think were treating the Americans unfairly: We are Americans. We have the right to offend ourselves. Plus, we know most Americans would freely admit to acting like this.

Please Review.


	3. Meeting The Pops

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, and Randy. **

Look Out America

Chapter 3: Meeting The Pops

Artemis lay on his bed, exhausted.

Kira knocked on his door. "Come in!" she heard.

She entered. "Don't you have a roommate?"

"Yeah. He is going to be right back. His name is TJ I think." "TJ? That's the most popular guy in school! This is perfect!"

"Yeah. Great."

"No. Really! We can totally act cool, Like I told you, around him! Then he will tell all his popular friends!"

"How do I manage this?"

"Just act like Ryan." Kira said. "As disgusting as that is, it's the only way."

"NO!"

"You freakin'' have to! It's the only way to get to the top! And that's the only way we will finish this and get back to Ireland!"

"Fine. But I refuse to say 'Dude'."

"Fine. Say man." Kira smiled contently. For like 5 seconds. Then the doorknob began to turn.

Artemis arranged his posture to how he'd seen TJ and his pals sitting. Slump.

Kira nodded approvingly.

The door opened.

But TJ didn't turn around for a second, "Later Caren!" he was calling.

"Oh! Hey dude, I'm TJ. You Danny?"

"Yeah, man." "Who's that?" asked TJ. "I'm Brittlyn." Kira replied.

"So, ya'll new?" TJ asked.

"Yeah. Never been to boarding school before," 'Danny' replied.

"Wow." Said TJ. Kira/Brittlyn just acted like a self absorbed snob. "Don't you mean 'we' Danny?" she said play insulted.

"Sor-ry! My girlfriend. You know the type."

"Excuse ME!" Brittlyn/Kira sulked.

TJ laughed. "Hey, I'll bet your Caren's new roomy. My girlfriend," he added to Danny/Artemis.

"Yeah, I am! Wow, you're smart!" Kira said in a voice scarily like Mary Sue's.

"I'll show you your room. Comin'?" He asked. Danny shook his head.

"Of course you're coming! Don't be silly, Danny you have to say good night to me!" Brittlyn said sternly.

"Fine. Sorry. Geez, you are bossy!"

They walked to Brittlyn and Caren's dorm. When the got there Brittlyn turned around.

"Bye, Danny." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'll miss you." -The rest of the details were slightly graphic, and shall not be recorded, due to the fact that we don't want to corrupt anyone's innocence.-

The inner Artemis was slightly stunned but acted like he did that all the time.

Actually, he didn't really mind some of it. "Night," he said once they were done.

"So...where are ya from, dude?" asked TJ.

"LA. Figured New York would be a cool change, so I got my dad to let me go. Then Britt decided to come along."

"Cool girl." TJ nodded his head.

"Totally. We have a good time."

"Looks like it." TJ smirked. "What about Caren?" asked Danny.

"Caren? Oh, she's the bomb. She's so funny, you'll love her. Just don't love her too much, I know where you live!"

Artemis had to force himself to laugh when he said that. Apparently it was supposed to be funny.

"But no sweat. anyway, the others are Andy and Con, her full name's Connie but no one calls her that. And Lauren hangs out with us, but she's unattached."

"We are trying to find Lauren a boyfriend." TJ added.

"Ha! Does she want one?"

"It doesn't matter. She'd probably get kicked out if she didn't." TJ said simply.

Artemis furrowed his brow, but said nothing. "I guess we need another guy or we're outnumbered."

"Yeah, were working on that too. Can't let the girls take control."

They finally reached their dorm, where Danny/Artemis went straight to his laptop.

He filed all this new information in and studied it. Tomorrow he would be the perfect teen.

Or as perfect as they got.


	4. Laurens Loco

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, and Randy. **: We also do not own, Abercrombie, Aeropostal, American Eagle, or Hollister.

Look Out America

Chapter 4: Laurens Loco

The next day before breakfast: Artemis decided to do what TJ did and go get his girlfriend. The school had no uniforms so you can imagine what he was wearing. All logos. He hated it. He was a walking add for for companies like, Aeropostal, Abercrombie, American Eagle, and Hollister.

"Ar-Danny! Honey, it's been so long!" Britt/Kira ran up to him.

When no one was looking she rolled her eyes at him.

He rolled his eyes back. She stuck out her tongue. Soon a full-out gross face contest was blooming.

Until Caren and TJ turned around. This of course meant that they both made weird faces at Caren and TJ. Caren laughed, and TJ joined in.

Then it got boring. So they began walking to breakfast.

Caren and Brittlyn had hit it off last night, and were chatting like they'd known each other since Kindergarten.

Artemis was proud of himself for talking like a typical teen without Kira's help.

Until, he met Lauren. "A pleasure to meet you," he said.

Brittlyn looked at him. "I mean, Wassup?" he saved himself.

"A pleasure." The girl laughed at the look on Dan's face. "I'm a Britt, if you can't tell. But I guess that's you." She said looking at Brittlyn, "Lauren Carmichael, at your service." She held out her hand to Britt.

"Hey!" said Brittlyn. "That's sooo funny how you're a 'Britt' but I'm a 'Britt" 'cause of my name!"

Lauren grinned. "I thought so."

Brittlyn, Lauren, Con, and Caren laughed like it was an inside joke or something.

The boys just grinned at each other, then started showing off. Artemis was going to do something nasty with Cole slaw, but Kira glared him out of it.

"So, how long have you been together?" asked Andy.

Danny grinned. "Long enough that I forgot."

"Nice." the guys said together.

Kira reached over and smacked him on the shoulder with out looking up from her conversation. "Eight months, you know that. Now, what color would go best with your eyes?"

The guys would have laughed if there girlfriend's didn't give them a look.

"Hey! Which one of you is man enough to..." TJ trailed off with some stupid dare. "I will," a soft voice said. Everyone turned to see Lauren with her hand up. "You heard me, TJ. I'll steal a vat of pudding from the kitchen."

"You're not serious? Are you?" TJ asked. "It was a stupid dare! I didn't expect anyone to do it!"

Lauren shrugged. "OK. Then I get to pick an assistant. Hmmm... Danny, how about you?"

"Umm, sure!" Artemis said in an effort to be cool.

Brittlyn gaped at Lauren. So did Con and Caren. Con turned to Britt and started whispering, while Caren seemed to agree with whatever she was saying. Lauren was oblivious, planning her- and Artemis'- theft.

"I can't believe she would do that!" Con whispered angrily." "I can't believe he would say yes!" said Brittlyn angrier.

The three whispering girls got up, talking angrily about different kinds of theft...

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Please Review. Tell us what you want to happen! Potestas & MulchDiggums


	5. IM U!

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, and Randy. **

**: Also, we are not responsible for mistakes in the IM part of the story. Like normal people, Kira and Artemis have typos: **

Look Out America

Chapter 5: IM U!

That night Brittlyn and Caren were walked back to there dorm again.

"Can you believe her? I mean, I was sitting right there! Hello!" Brittlyn was getting very upset.

"The guys were walking behind them. Completely oblivious to everything. As guys usually are.

TJ was joking around, but Danny was quiet.

He knew something was wrong. But was too naive to figure it out.

When they got to the girls dorm Britt turned around again.

"See ya, Danny." He moved closer, but she turned and closed the door.

"Ouch." he heard TJ say from behind him.

Later that night Artemis got on the IM.

Brittlyn101 was on.

DaNiAl just signed on

DaNiAl just sent you a message

DaNiAl- Britt? waz wrong?

Brittlyn101: whaz wrong ur face.

DaNiAl- what did i do?

Brittlyn101: what didnt you do? I cant belive you agreed to L's stupid plan!

DaNiAl- wasnt that good?

Brittlyn101: I'm ur GF!

DaNiAl: soooooooooo...?

Brittlyn101: Dosent that mean anything to u?

DaNiAl- yah, we hang out an all. oh- TJ wants 2 say hi.

DaNiAl- TJ: hey babe! tell caren hey sweetness!

Brittlyn101: Tever! i will!

DaNiAl- TJ's leavin now. RIGHT TJ?

Brittlyn101: U cant hang out with Lauren and be with me! Not when she likes u!

DaNiAl- she likes me?

Brittlyn101: duh? why do u sound so happy!

DaNiAl- how do i sound? i'm typing

Brittlyn101: O dont turn this around on me! I know u!

DaNiAl- i didn't do it! hey- g2g.

Brittlyn101: Why is Lauren over?

DaNiAl- yah. time for the dare.

DaNiAl just signed off at 8:36:12 p.m

Brittlyn scowled. 'How could he do that after I told him I didn't want him to!' she thought.

Then an evil idea struck her. "Caren! Wake up; we've got a dat- I mean dare to sabotage!"

School Kitchens

Caren and Brittlyn followed Danny and Lauren down the hall. Lauren tried the door. "Oh, it's locked. Oh, well." She said rather happily.

She turned to Danny. "Let's do something else." She was close to him.

"Like what?" he asked naive as usual.

"Well, I've got a few ideas." She moved even closer, tilting her head up. Her lips were brushing his. "A few aren't very PG."

Brittlyn gasped. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Danny looked up. "Britt!"

Kira/Brittlyn scowled and stormed away angrily. Caren glared at Lauren and Danny/Artemis and then went after her.

Lauren laughed. "What's her problem?"


	6. Naughty, naughty

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, and Randy. **

**: Also, we are not responsible for mistakes in the IM part of the story. Like normal people, Kira and Artemis have typos: **

Look Out America

Chapter 6: Naughty, naughty.

"She's my girlfriend!" Danny/Artemis said to Lauren.

"Duh. But... well."

"Your not!" Danny finished.

She stepped back as if stung.

Danny shook his head and ran after Kira/Brittlyn.

He was stopped by Caren. "You stay away from her!"

"She's my girlfriend!" Artemis stated. "Yeah, right!" Caren stated.

He started to walk away.

"So, you're just going to leave! You're not even going to insist on seeing her!" Caren asked stunned.

"Why? You just said to stay away!"

"You just don't get it do you!" Caren was awed at his stupidity.

"Nope."

Caren shook her head and slammed the door on him.

He rolled his eyes.

He went back to his dorm. Maybe TJ 'got it'.

When he'd heard the whole story, TJ laughed. "Well, dump Britt and date Lauren!"

"What?" asked Danny.

"Duh. Lauren is so much hotter!"

"Excuse me! Why don't you dump Caren and date Lauren!" Artemis/Danny asked.

"Cause she isn't coming on to me!"

"Look, I don't know a whole lot about this subject, but I know enough to know that that would be stupid!" Danny declared.

TJ jumped up. "You callin' me stupid, punk?"

"No. I'm calling the situation stupid." Danny said firmly.

TJ looked slightly calmer.

"Lauren messed everything up!" Danny said angrily.

"Dude, who cares? You've got two hot chicks wanting you. Most of us are lucky to even get a second date with one chick!"

"What are you talking about there not chickens there girls! And I don't like Lauren!" Danny said exasperated.

TJ rolled his eyes. "Whatever dude. I'm just sayin'..."

"Look, I don't care what you're saying. I just want K-Brittlyn back!"

"Whatever dude. Can't help ya."

Artemis sighed and lay back on his bed.

"G'night man," he said, before shutting off the light.

At 3 O'clock that night there was a knock on there door. Artemis got it, it was Kira.

"Come." She said.

When they were outside. (Using a back entrance that was unlocked in case of a fire) Kira exploded.

"YOU KISSED HER!"

"I did not!" Artemis argued.

"A KISS IS A KISS, ARTEMIS!"

"I did not! She kissed me!" He argued.

"Wow. You sure resisted, lover boy."

"She was confusing me!" Artemis retaliated. "You are 16 not 5, Artemis!" Kira said shaking her head angrily.

"How come you can talk 'Gangsta' as you call it but I can't?"

"What does that have to do with this?" Kira asked angrily.

"I don't know!"

"How could you do that to me?" Kira said angrier still.

"I didn't know what she was going to do!"

"But you figured it out at the last second and you still went with it. And what's worse is that I warned you and you didn't listen!" Kira said sitting down.

"Warned me? When?"

"On the IM. Don't even tell me you didn't get that!"

"OK, then I'll just lie!" Artemis said fuming.

"I just can't believe you did that. Artemis, that was low." Kira finished.

"WHAT! WHAT IS WRONG, KIRA!"

"YOU FLIPPEN' KISSED LAUREN!" she screamed.

"I. Did. NOT!"

"Whatever, Artemis." said Kira shaking her head. "Just, whatever."


	7. Whats not Wrong?

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, and Randy. **

**: Also, we are not responsible for mistakes in the IM part of the story. Like normal people, Kira and Artemis have typos: **

Look Out America

Chapter 5: What's (not) Wrong?

"What do you want from me, Kira?" the bitterness in the heir to a formerly criminal empire's voice was heavy.

"I want you to have not done that." Kira sighed.

"Of course!" he stood up, pacing around her. "Only you would want the only thing I can't give!" his tone was harried, not his usual sardonic calmness.

"You're so difficult!" Kira said trying really hard not to say anything she might regret.

Artemis had no such qualms. He was past caring, very far past.  
"Like you aren't? Honestly, it always has to be about you, either that or what I'm doing wrong!"

"Well, if you would do things right once in a while I wouldn't half to!" Kira argued.

"Do things right! Kira, what haven't I done right? Tell me that, and then we'll talk."

"You kissed Lauren. That wasn't right." Kira said lips pierced.

"Correction: She kissed me. Even I know that there is a difference. And I pulled away very quickly. You saw!"

'Yeah! Because you saw me! Honestly, I don't know what would've happened if hadn't been there. "Kira said simply.

"Well, I do. And you'll just have to take my word for it, but this is the truth. I. Would. Have. Stopped!"

"Fine." said Kira. "Now, shut-up!"

"Ya know what? I don't think I will!" Artemis was too distressed to notice he was using a perfect American accent. "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP!" he continued in this vein for a few minutes. Kira was too shocked to say anything.

When he was done, Kira angrily hissed and then walked away.

He didn't care. Not much mattered any more. Nothing but getting as far away from... her as he could.

He walked inside and as soon as he got to his dorm, he found Lauren waiting.

"Hey handsome," she said.

"Go away!" He told her exasperatedly.

"God!" she said. "If that's how you treat your girlfriend... I'm not sure I want to go out with you."

"My what?" he asked.

"Girlfriend. We're going out, that's what the kiss meant!"

"I had a girlfriend!" Artemis said confused.

"But you kissed me, which sort of breaks you two up. Unless you're a playa? That kind of makes me go 'ick'!"

"You kissed me!" Danny argued.

"So? You kissed back!" Artemis hadn't, but that was beyond the point.

"DID NOT!"

"Look, I don't' wanna get into a did-Didn't with you."

"I don't even like you anymore." Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"I never liked you, so now we're even. Would you mind leaving?"

"Sure. See ya tomorrow, Danny." she winked and left.

"AAAAARRRGGHH!" Danny collapsed on his bead.

"Good day?" TJ asked.

Artemis groaned. "What do you think?"

"I would say it was if I was you." he said smiling

"Go to sleep!"

"Whatever, dude." TJ shoke his head, "Whatever."

When Kira woke up, it was already nine AM.

I think I'll skip today." she said, totally unlike herself.

So, she just rolled over, prepared to be very, very sick when someone came to see why she wasn't in class.

There was a knock on her door.

"Hello?" she was surprised at how sick she sounded.

Was TJ. "I'm skipping too." he said.

"Unnhh," she said articulately. "I'm sick."

"Sure." he winked. "I am too."

"Fine." She sat up. "What do you do when you skip around here?"

"Different things." he said. "It is really hard to leave a room without getting caught

"No kidding."

"Maybe we shouldn't leave then." TJ said.

Kira's eyebrow raised. "Excuse me?"

"Excuse you." he said simply.

She sat up. "What are you suggesting, TJ?"

"Whatever, you think I am." he shrugged.

"Get out!"

"I don't have to."

Over the summer, Kira had taken self-defense lessons, but all she could remember right now was the greeting.

"I would leave." she said. He stepped closer. "I don't have too."

Apparently, her body remembered what to do. With a yell, she kicked him in the face.

He was startled, but shoke. "I took those classes too." he said.

But Kira had already dodged around him and was opening the door. She was glad that she had pajama pants and a baggy T-shirt.

As soon as he came out she ran in and locked the door.

She knew that each key was different, and that she and her roomy had the only copies, except for the office. But for good measure, she moved her dresser and desk in front of the door.

Then she woke up.

Panting, she looked around. The furniture was the same way it had been when she'd stormed in from fighting with Artemis.

"I am never eating pudding before bed again!" she told herself.

Caren stirred. "Wassamater?" she mumbled to Kira.

"Bad Dream." Kira told her.

"Erg. It's 5:45. We have to get up in fifteen minutes."

"I'm already up." Kira replied. Though she had forgotten most of here dream anyway.

"Good for you. I'm going to snooze as long as I can."

Kira got up and got dressed. That dream must have meant something.

'It means that I should practice my karate,' Kira told herself as she walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

When she stepped out of the dorm she was greeted with a site she certainly didn't want to see.

"Leave me alone, Danny!"

"We need to talk, Brittlyn!" Danny said. "Fine, then talk." Kira said walking back inside and sitting down.

"I'm sorry. I should have said that, but I didn't. So I'm saying it now."

"I'm really sorry, about Lauren." Danny said.

Brittlyn nodded.


	8. Apology Accepted

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, and Randy. **

**: Also, we are not responsible for mistakes in the IM part of the story. Like normal people, Kira and Artemis have typos: **

Look Out America

Chapter 8:Apology Accepted

"Continue," she said imperiously. "And maybe go a bit longer."

"I'm sorry that I let Lauren trick me." he stated.

She stayed silent, motioning for him to continue by raising an eyebrow.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked overwhelmed.

She shrugged. "Just more of the same, I guess."

"I'm sorry that I froze up, too." he added.

Kira tipped her head back, looking at the ceiling tiles.

"Well?" Artemis asked.

"Have you ever noticed that you could push those tiles up? I've seen the janitor with his head in there. I think that's where they hid the dead bodies." Artemis knew that that was as close as he'd get to an apology accepted.

"Dead from what?

"Old Cafeteria food, duh!" Kira looked at him and sighed, "Apology accepted."

They stood, Artemis pulling Kira closer to him by her hand.  
"I'd say let's never fight again, but I am a genius."

"Yeah. And your conceited." she added.

He flipped his hair with his hand, an impression of Mary Sue.  
"If that's, like, a good thing, then I know!" he forced his voice to sound like Mary's causing Kira to laugh hysterically. So hysterically that they didn't hear the sound of the fairy communicator for a while. (A/N ah, getting back to a PLOT!)

"What's that?" she said suddenly.

Artemis pulled the communicator out, pulling Kira into a hall closet at the same time.

This looked a little strange to passerby.

They then dismissed it as two lovers, and, being a snitch, went to tell the closest authority figure.

They forgot though, after seeing "The Pops" walk by in there new style. Black and Blue.

But Anyway...

Artemis flipped open the communicator. "Yes?"

"Have you forgotten what your here for?" Holly asked.

There was a pause. "Have fun?" Kira chirped choppily.

"More like, a mission." Holly stated angrily.

"Sheesh, I was kidding. I'm not even sure what we're supposed to do!"

"Well, that's why I called. You mission is in three simple steps.  
Step 1: Get in tight with the populars.  
"Um, duh? We did that like, the first day!" Kira was starting to give Artemis a headache with her cheerleader voice.

"Step 2:" Holly spoke loudly,"

please review!


	9. Laurens Loco, Kevins Weird

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, Randy, and Kevin.**

**We are not responsible for mistakes in the IM part of the story. Like normal people, Kira and Artemis have typos.**

Look Out America

Chapter 8: Laurens Loco, Kevin's Weird.

"You have to pretend that your mind wiped when you meet your enemy. And step 3: you have to figure out what step 3 is." Holly finished.

After a long pause, Artemis spoke up. "And our enemy is...?"

"Disguised. I don't even know. But he/she goes to your school." Holly said.

Holly paused. "And... they may know about you."

Then she hung up. She didn't like being asked questions she didn't know the answer too.

The two friends looked at each other. "Well."

"No use in finding out now, it's like 7:00." Kira stated.

They went to the library to study until lights out.

Once again, TJ and Artemis walked the girls to there dorm. Surprisingly, nobody asked them why or how they got back together. Must have been a very common thing.

Kira saw the question on Artemis' face, and whispered in his ear, "It is kind of common."

"Bye, T." Caren laughed.

"Bye," Kira added before slipping into her dorm.

"She must still be a little ticked at you, dude." TJ said observantly.

"Must be."

"Why?" Artemis added.

"Dude, she's a girl. Just be glad she's taking to yah!" TJ laughed.

"She called you 'T'. Isn't that annoying?" Arty asked, remembering his nickname.

"Nah man, it's cool."

They walked back into there dorm. "You know man, I thought about dumping Caren, for someone better. Like you told me too." Artemis ignored the fact that he hadn't said that at all, "And you thought what?" Artemis asked.

"Don't you remember? You said for me to go out with Lauren!"

"Sure. And what did you decide?" Artemis asked impatiently.

"I'm sticking' with Caren. Lauren'd just cheat on me with you."

"Deep." Danny said sarcastically.

"What? And also, I've heard weird things about her. Yah know?"

"Like what?" asked Artemis, only half paying attention.

"Just... things. Like, she'll all of a sudden stop talking, and not know what's going on."

"Maybe she's just stupid." Artemis said half asleep.

"Nah man, she gets A's. And then this one time she wanted to know what I thought about you. Like weird stuff."

"Interesting." Artemis said not interested at all. Then he fell asleep.  
12345678910123456789The Next Day012345678910123456789

Kira glared at the alarm clock. "Didn't anyone tell you its Sunday? We don't have to get up early."

But when Kira woke up, she was awake. She decided to go to breakfast. It served until 8:15; it was only 7:10.

As she ate the waffles, she sighed. Breakfast was the only good meal around here.

Suddenly "The Pops" walked in. Along with knew member, Danny. And of course, Lauren.

Kira ignored them. This was a semi-dangerous move, but with her friendship of Danny and Caren, she should be fine.

It was pretty easy to ignore them too. Until Lauren and co. came and sat by her. It was kind of a funny image acctualy. With Danny on one side of her and Caren on the other she felt kind of safe.

"Lauren," she said coolly.

Then she turned to Danny/Artemis and kissed his cheek. "Good morning, handsome!"

Inside she laughed. TJ, who was sitting on the other side of Artemis, looked at Danny and whispered, she not mad anymore. Lauren glowered.

Kira smirked at Lauren. "Still single? How sad."

"Actually, Kevin comes over here!" she screamed to some kid across the room. "This is my boyfriend." Lauren lied. "I am?" Kevin asked excitedly before Lauren ribbed him. "Welcome to the group, Kevin." TJ greeted the small red-headed kid.

"Hi!" he said excitedly.

"Sit Down!" Lauren pulled him next to her. She smiled at Kira fakily.

"So, what do you guys like to do for fun?" Kevin asked.

They looked at each other. This new kid must be new.

"Well... this. Hang, yah know?"

"Oh, I get it...dude." Kevin said weirdly.

Artemis nodded, then gave TJ a 'quick! make-an-excuse-to-escape!' look.

"Well, Danny, Britt, Caren, and me got to go to the dorm. Later!" TJ said lamely. All the chosen ones ran out.

Lauren glared at their backs.

"Nice, plan TJ." Kira said. "Don't flirt with him!" Danny said. Only Britt knew he was kidding.

"Chill!" Caren said.

Danny looked at Brittlyn, she smiled at him.

They all started laughing.

"Did you guys see Laurens face?" Kira asked breathlessly.

"And Kevin's! He's such a dork!"

"I can't believe Lauren choose him!" Caren said. She stopped laughing. "I'm glad I picked you." she said to TJ.

They took a minute to kiss. Danny decided that this was a good idea, and grabbed Brittlyn's hand.

"Remember the mission." Britt whispered.

"Remember our cover," he whispered back, kissing her.

She smirked. "Remember or fight?"

"Remember that we made up?"

"Vaguely." she joked.

TJ and Caren laughed. "Let's go to the girls' room and study for that test."

"Your, going to study?" Caren asked surprised.

"Yah! I have to keep up my GPA, and I force TJ to once in a while." Caren giggled.

"Don't flirt with her!" Brittlyn, mocked Danny.

The guys rolled their eyes, and the girls giggled.

They walked over to the girl's dorm.

As they set up the study session, Kevin barged in.

Everyone looked at him, surprised.

"Hi!" he said.

"Hi, Kevin." everyone said meekly.

"Hi!" he repeated. Then Lauren walked in.

"Shut Up, Kevin!" Lauren rolled her eyes.

He mimed 'zipping the lip'

Everyone, especially Lauren, sighed. "What do you want?" asked Brittlyn rudely.

"What, we can't hang with you anymore?"

"Well, after what you did, I guess that's up to Artemis." Brittlyn said.

"Artemis? Who is she?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "She's the goddess of archery." Brittlyn said smartly catching her flaw.

"Well," Lauren smirked, "I don't believe in any Gods."

"Then it's up to Danny, I guess." everyone looked at him.

"Well... It's already crowded in here."

"That's not the freaking' question! The question is, can I still be part of the group overall?" Lauren rolled her eyes.

"Like I said, it's crowded."

Lauren looked at TJ, "You can't let him do this!" she said outraged.

"It's his choice."

Lauren fled the room in an outrage, pulling Kevin along with her.

Artemis had his head bent over his work when the other's turned to him.

"What?" he asked when he looked up. "I'm so proud of you, Danny!" Kira laughed.

He grinned. Kira noticed that he did that more and more often, not like when she'd first met him.

"Really." she said.

Lauren stormed to her room, to the box that made it all better.

She fell down suddenly. A voice in her head boomed.

"You fool! You were to make them hate each other!"

"I tried, master." Lauren winced.

"Tried isn't good enough."

"I'm sorry, I will!" Lauren screamed. The Voice went away.  
Meanwhile

Kira and Artemis had retreated to the small garden when TJ and Caren had decided kissing was more fun then studying.

Brittlyn looked at Artemis, Then at them, and then back at Artemis.

He nodded. "Let's leave," he mouthed.

Brittlyn, shook her head no, "That would be suspicious." she whispered.

"Hey, Britt? Do yah think it's hot in here?" Danny asked.

Kira didn't get it, "Sure." she said with a weird face.

"Its cooler outside," TJ chimed in. "OK. We'll be out there!" Before she could say anything, Danny had pulled Kira out of the room.

"Yes?" Kira asked.

"Let's go to the garden," he'd said. And now they were there.

"Well?" asked Kira. "Why are you acing so weird.

"I just want to talk to you. About the mission. Also, the hormones in that room were starting to choke me."

"Like you don't have your own." Kira smirked.

He smirked. "That may have had a hand in it."

"What the Fralick is wrong!" Kira asked after studying his face. (A/N ask Potestas what Fralick means and she will tell you.)

"Nothing." He led her out to the garden.

"I'm not going to talk until you tell me!" Kira said. She over reacted a lot.

"Just... I just wanted to be alone with you. Is that so hard to understand?"


	10. WOW, a long chapter

**Disclaimer: We don't own any body in the Artemis Fowl books. Or the song "Susie's got a Cow on Her Head" We however do own, Kira, Thom, Jadas, Ryan, Mary Sue, TJ, Lauren, Caren, Connie, Randy, and Kevin. **

**We are not responsible for mistakes in the IM part of the story. Like normal people, Kira and Artemis have typos. **

Look Out America

Chapter 10: WOW, a long chapter.

"Actually, it isn't." Kira said.

"I'm sorry."

She added.

"You agree I'm right and you're wrong?" Artemis' tone suggested surprise.

"Well I'm not wrong." Kira said stubbornly, "You're just right."

Artemis smirked. "Ri-ight."

"By the way...we have to go to the movies with everyone tonight!" Kira said, mock excitedly. Artemis hated American movies.

But they were necessary to keep up cover.

TJ and Caren were debating over what movie to watch.  
"I wanna see "Love Forever Until The Bird Eats it'!" Caren said. "Well does it really matter?" TJ said, "It's not like were gonna be watching the movie!"

Caren snorted. "In your dreams!"

Britt butted in. "C'mon Ren. Danny's never seen How to Lose a Guy in Eleven Days, sequel to How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. It has Johnny Depp, Robert Downey, Jr., and Paris Hilton."

"Oh my gosh!" Caren said, "I can't believe how deprived he has been! Fine. We can watch that!"

TJ and Danny looked at each other. "Why us?" they both asked.

"Oh, you know you like it!" Caren said, laughing.

---------------in the theater--------------------------------

Danny groaned. "We paid nine bucks to see Johnny Depp in a Speedo?"

"That's not the whole movie!" Brittlyn said frowning at his ignorance.

"Just the first hour," TJ whispered.

Caren threw popcorn at him playfully.

Soon the theatre was full of flying popcorn. An usher came rushing up. "HEY! You kids behave yourselves!" Danny snorted. "Not only are you about our age, but we are the only ones insane enough to pay money to see this movie, as such we are the only ones in the theatre!"

That resulted in them getting kicked out. Smooth.  
"Smooth, Ar-Dan." Kira/Brittlyn griped.

"Ardan? Where did you get that from?" Caren asked, "Its my middle name." Artemis saved himself, glaring at Kira.

TJ laughed. "Better then Sally Mae, like some people we know. Coughcarencough," he said, actually pronouncing the coughs.

Everyone laughed. "We really should be heading back." Danny commented. "It's getting dark." "But all the fun happens after dark!" TJ wined.

Kira shivered. "Yeah, and it gets cold, too. I'm ready to go."

"Ahh, you guys are no fun!" Caren whined but they got into the car anyway.

Since TJ was sixteen, he was driving.

"No playing in the back seat!" Caren teased Brittlyn and Danny.

"As long as TJ keeps his eyes on the road, not you," Britt shot back

They all laughed again. "Hey, look the moons full!" Brittlyn said.

"Werewolves!" Caren squealed.

"I'm scared!" Brittlyn said sounding so much like she was actually scared almost everyone believed her.

"It's ok, trust me werewolves are the least of our worries," Danny reassured her.

"But..." her lip quivered, she was a great actress.

She suddenly shrieked, causing everyone to jump.

"What is it!" they asked. "I thought I saw a ghost! Danny, I'm scared!"

He looked skeptical, and she started laughing. "You scare so easy!"

It was dark then, Caren really was scared. The crowded car at nigh was the perfect atmosphere to sleep in which Kira did.

Caren had the radio to her favorite station, with lots of love.

songs.

Artemis looked at Kira for a second.

He still couldn't figure out why she looked so much more peaceful asleep.

Maybe because she wasn't talking. "What did you say?" Kira asked drearily, she was waking up. Opps, he hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"Well, I'm not tired now. She said sitting up.

"Oh"

He said

, yawning.

"What is TJ playing?" Kira asked yawning. She lied she was tired.

"Nothing. Caren's playing... sounds like Always on my Mind."

"You know love song?" she asked laughing.

"Well the fact that the song goes, 'You were always on my mind/ Always on my Ming"

"I mean mind," he corrected himself.

"Oh, well I still think its cool that you noticed. She was half asleep.

He grinned/

Caren sighed. "This is a perfect night."

"Yeah." Brittlyn said drearily. "No." Danny said.

She turned to him. "Why not?"

"He looked at her."Were home!" he said aloud.

She smiled.

TJ laughed.

It was like 3:00 am when they got home. But the guys followed their tradition of walking the girls to their dorm.

"Bye," Caren said, puling TJ away for a more private good bye.

"Oohh!" Brittlyn laughed.

Then Artemis occupied her mouth with a more... fun pastime.

"You're acting weird." Brittlyn laughed.

"What, you don't like it?"

"I guess..." she didn't know the right answer."We are supposed to be pretending.

He frowned. "But... I thought we were going out for real too!"

"We are!" she said, "But, I don't know we were never like...this before."

"I guess that that song last night got me thinking."

"Thinking what?" Brittlyn asked curiously.

"Oh, never mind."

"No, tell ''em!" Brittlyn said, "Please?"

"Well, the singer was saying how he'd never held his... girlfriend I guess, enough, but she was always on his mind."

"Oh, really." Brittlyn laughed. "You think way too much!"

"G'night," he muttered, walking back to his room.

"What did I say?" she wondered aloud.

She shrugged, going into her room.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Next morning---

It was Sunday. Caren refused to wake up so naturally Brittlyn went by herself to breakfast.

"Bleh," she said at the look and smell of 'breakfast.'

She felt peculiar today. She suspected that Danny was mad at her. But she just couldn't figure out why.

He walked in.

And he looked straight through her. It was like they broke up or something.

She sighed. What was up?

"Danny!" she called as TJ and Caren sat down.

"Huh? Oh, hi."

"What's up?" she asked, that question had more than one meaning.

"Oh, nothing'."

"What do you want to do on the last night of the weekend?" she asked.

"Sleep," he moaned. "I was up all night."

"Doing what?" she asked.

"Just couldn't sleep, so I got on my computer. The next thing I knew it was seven o'clock."

"Wow. What kept you so busy?" she asked.

He glanced at TJ and Caren. "Stuff," he said meaningfully.

Brittlyn nodded. Stuff.

Caren yawned.

"Danny can you help me with a experiment?" Britt asked. "Outside?"

He stood up.

They walked outside,

"What is up with you, today?" she blurted out.

"What? I really was up all night!!"

"No, last night too! And that look you gave me this morning!"

"Kira," he hissed. "Nothing is wrong with me!"

"Yes. Something is." she argued,

"Look, I know me, you don't know me!"

'Excuse me?" she said, angrily.

He turned on his heel and stomped off.

Brittlyn felt abandoned. "Wait!" she called before he left completly.

"What?" he snapped.

"I guess I don't know you." she said.

"Look, I need some time to myself."

"Time for yourself. What happened to what you said last night?" Brittlyn was confused.

"What? When?" Arty asked.

"Before you went back to your dorm." she said. "About that song."

He furrowed his brow. "I honestly don't remember that. Why don't I remember that?"

"I don't know I don't know you remember." she said still mad.

Kira looked suspicious. "You stay here. I... have to do something."

She called up Holly. Sure, she could have taken Artemis but she was a little bit angry and confused over him at the moment.

"Holly, we have a situation."

"Situation, being?" she asked drowsily.

"Artemis has no memory of last night, and is acting weird."

"He always acts weird." Holly stated bluntly.

"Let me rephrase: Acting like a normal, American teenager." Holly blanched. "Why didn't you say it was serious!?"

"I thought it was implied!" Kira and Holly often argued. They were both stubborn as bulls.

Holly groaned.

Loudly.

: "Anyway, cant you mesmerize him tell him to act normal?" Kira asked.

"No-o. But if you bring him down here, I can 'un-mesmerize' him."

"Ok..." Kira hung up and tried not to panic. She went to go get Artemis.

"Hey, we're going on a trip. Fifteen minutes."

He had obviously been past he loner stage. "Hey babe!" He said totally ignoring what she had just said. Kira reminded herself she had to act like this was all normal.

"Hey! I've got a great idea. Let's go to a quiet place I know."

"Okay." he said.

He followed her like a puppy on a leash.

"Where is that quiet place, exactly?" he asked.

"Right around the corner."

"A jet?" he asked. Because it did indeed look like one.

"This place is rather far away."


	11. The End Is Near

He smirked stupidly. "Cool." Kira somehow refrained from rolling her eyes. Mostly the fact that she was committing this to memory so that she could torture Artemis with this later. "How far, is far?" he asked questioningly. "Umm..." Kira replied eloquently. Did this Artemis know, was he allowed to know? 

"Let's say it's my little secret." This caused Danny to start singing, (if you could call what he was doing singing) the song "Dirty Little Secret." Kira subtly got out her cell phone and started making a video. When Arty noticed, he just hammed it up for the camera. Oh, man. This was going to be good. An hour later, they were underground. Where they meet Holly. Where Holly would be able to revert Artemis to a state in which she could blackmail him. "Hey, Holly." said Kira casually. As if they weren't all involved in a sinister plot the probably involved the fate of the world. I mean, come on. This was totally normal, right? "Where's Artemis?" she asked. "In the back, they knocked him out so 'Danny' wouldn't remember anything." Kira stated. "Ah." Holly got an evil glint in her eye. "I heard something about a song..." Another hour passed before they were in something like a conference room. It had chairs that were both people, and elf sized. It also included something like a doctor's chair. This is where Artemis was placed. "Hah! Kira has a mini chair!" Holly and Kira groaned at the same time. "What are you going to do wit him?" Kira asked Holly. There was a long pause. "We aren't really sure yet," Foaly answered, trotting in. "Ok." Kira said, worriedly. She watched Foaly work. He first asked Artemis a series of questions. They were all insanely boring and answered sarcastically. I mean, come on. How many people, while looking at you, may I add. Ask you your gender? After about half an hour, it was finally over. "Well?" Kira asked anxiously. "Yes, he's been mesmerized. And yes, we can do something." "What are you going to do?" Holly asked getting up. "I was thinking about..." he trailed off. Holly gasped. "NO!" "WHAT?!" Kira said out of habit. Holly shook her head. "We're going to let the Psyche Brotherhood interview him. I heard of one patient coming out of a coma to ask for help in escaping these quacks. It should work like a charm." "But, wants the danger?" Kira asked expecting a catch. "In very few occurrences, the patients recess deeper." "And the chances of Artemis being one of them?" Kira asked. "Two to five." 'It's not worth it," Kira said, "There has to be another way." "It's not like you have a choice in the matter, Kirk." For once Kira decided to comply. 3 hours later. Everything was over, and Kira had been right. Artemis was blathering incoherently. The Psyche Brotherhood was confused and Kira was pissed. They put him to sleep. "Well?" Kira asked impatiently. "He will wake up in about an hour and start acting like a normal teenager. This time there is no hop that he will undo himself by himself. We need a few days to come up with another solution." Now Kira was really pissed. She did not want to have to put up with that loon for a few days. However long that was. Plus she had to stay underground. Bunking with Holly. At leased she thought she was. "You have to go back to school." Foaly said. "We'll send Holly up with you." "Why do I have to go to school?" "Because it will look very fishy if you both don't show up fro what could be months." Foaly said quickly. "MONTHS?!" Kira screamed. "This is the part we skip through to avoid having to raise the rating to T+. 3 hours later, at school. Kira was grumping through her third period class. The fact that she had to act normal. Maybe even more normal. Was killing her. "Brittlyn lets ditch 4th period." Artemis whispered to her. She nodded, mock excitedly. "Actually, let's not. This is kind of interesting." "No, NEXT period." he said. "Fine." she said complying. She had a feeling TJ and Caren were behind this to. --Later that day---- Kira sulked. She hated this. What sucked worse, was that she had to pretend to love it. Caren adn Tj were getting close ina corner of the outdoor courtyard. Arty was tring to, but she claimed that she wanted to talk. "Fine!" Danny said annoyed. "What about?" Fine!" Danny said annoyed. "What about?" "Umm... do you have a crush on anyone other than me?" Danny smiled. "Laurens hott..." he began 'It's just his weird hormones, just hormones,' she repeated to herself. "Whats that supposed to mean?!" seh said angrily. "Nothin'!" Kira made a fcae like she was going to cry. In what, she really hoped, was normal. "Oh, c'mon, don't cry." She sniffled. Man, was she glad she had taken those acting lessons when she was little. He gave her a hug. Teenage boys could be sweet at times. "I forgive you." she managed to let out. "Good" he said. "If it matters," Danny said smiling, "I think your hott too." " She grinned. (more please) He grinned back. He glanced, at Caren and TJ. "Let's do that," he sugested. "Your a pervert." she commented. ""So? It looks fun!" he argued. She looked at him. "Define fun." Kira giggled. Artemis laughed. It was more manly. "Fine." she caved. Man, she ahted herself. Over the next week, Artemis cut class, pulled pranks, and make out. He had a blast. And for that entire week Kira was miseriable. One Monday when he woke up, Artemis was almost back to normal. Almost. being the key word. Kira sighed with relif. He wasn't planning to cut class, but a T.P.ing was schedualed later. Another sign that he was 'normaling up', was that he planed things out. He still, however, was a pervert. And that didnt seem to be getting better.

Kira sighed as Artemis tried to kiss her right as she put a bite of mashed potatoes in her mouth. "Cut it out," she groused.

"Whats wrong!" he said. He was probably not like most teenage boys after all. He was probably worse.

"Danny, I am trying to eat. You are getting half my food all over your face because you keep trying to kiss me WHILE I eat. STOP IT!" she screamed.

"Geez." he said, "Sorry." Kira sighed again.

"What is your problem Britt? Is it that time of the month?" Artemis had just said the most un-forgivable thing EVER to say to a girl, mesmerized or not. Kira stood up. "Get out of my sight. I never want to see you again, even if it involves poking my own eyes out!" she stalked out of the cafiteria, Caren following her.

"What I say?" Danny asked Tj. TJ shrugged.

"How could he be such a jerk?" Kira sobbed to Caren.

"Well, maybe you overreacted a little." Caren asid carefully.

Kira hiccuped. "What would you do?"

"I would go apologize so you wouldnt have to go therough a day without a boyfriend." Caren said truthfully.

Kira shook her head. "No way under the sun. I didn't do anything. He is going to come to me." she paused, then giggled. "I guess saying I'd poke my eyes out was a bit much." She and Caren laughed.

"Maybe you should talk it out, but face it you have to go to him! He has way to much of an ego." Caren said firmly.

Kira nodded. "That he does."

"Here, I will call TJ and tell him to send Danny over to the librairy." Caren said helpfuly.

"And you will give him a note written by me!" Brittlyn finished.

"That says that you love him and wanna get back together!" Caren added.

---------------in the library------------

Danny looked around. Where was Caren?

After about 3 minutes Caren walked through the door. "Sorry I'm late." she said, "But I just got a pedicure and COULD NOT mess it up!"

Danny rolled his eyes. "So why'd you need to meet me?"

"To give you this!" she said exitedly. She had, of course, watched Brittlyn write it.

He opened the complicatedly folded note. "Why do girls fold these up so much?" he asked retorichally.

"Its a star, silly."Caren brushed off his remark like a fly.

He shook his head, and read the note:

Danny,  
Hey! S'up?

I luv you still! I'm so sorry!

It's just that when you said that, you set off the trigger every female has. We find that kind of thing ruder-then-rude. So I overreacted.

I think we should meet at Midnight tonight in that place outside where Caren got stung by a bee.

See ya there?

Luv you!Brittlyn

Danny looked at Caren. "Tell her yeah, and that I'm sorry, ok Ren?"

She winked and walked off. This was too easy.

-------------midnight--------------------

Artemis leaned against a tree, waiting for Kira.

"Hey!" she said walking up behind him.

He turned. "Kira."

"What, are you mad at me or something?" she said sweetly.

"No. I shouldn't have said that. I dunno, this past few weeks have been so bizzare."

"You have no Idea." she muttered. "What was that?" he asked. "Nothing." she said quickly.

"Look. I'm really sorry. Will you take me back?"

Said Artemis.  
"How very touching," a voice came from behind them. Kira spun.

"Whos that?" Brittlyn asked.

Two people stepped out. One was fairly short. Even for a fairy, which it seemed to be. The other was Caren.

"Caren?" Kira was suddenly confused. Caren must ahve been captured by this fairy, she decided.

The other girl smirked evily. "What? Expecting Lauren? No. No, little miss LEP favorite. You were the only threat. I was the favorite of the pop's, untill you show up and start meddling! Oh God, I sound like a scooby-doo villan. 'If it hadn't been for thous meddling kids and their dog!' " Caren craked up. "Shut up," said the fairy. "Behave profesionally. Hello, Fowl. P'Shog. I assume you wonder who I am?"

"Fowl?" Danny was more than a little confused. 'Hes not Artemis." Kira, said. "I think you probably know that."

"You fool. Who do you think mesmerized him like that?" The fairy added hypnotic bass tones to her... his? Kira couldn't tell, voice.

Kira had a flash memory. She had brought sunglasses. No reason why, she htought they looked cool. Before she lost total control she grabbed thaem and put them on. "You have no power over me!" she screamed at whats his/her face. "Now, tell me. Who are you?"

"Why should I?"

"Why shouldnt you?" Kira said.

This seemed to stop him/her/it. "Um."

"Oh, fine!" It decided. 'I'm Opal Kobois husband. Gurdy Koboi."

Kira pretended to barf. "You married that nutso?"

"Yes. Before she tried to kill me, she was fisty that one." he said rememboring.

Danny was still confused. "Wait! I remember Koboi! Didn't she hit on Cudgeon?"

"Hes, delirious?" Kira asked.

"WHAT!" cried the rouge fairy. "HITTING ON HIM! GODS, SAY IT AIN'T SO!"

Kira was more into Artmeis remember ing. "Artemis?" she asked.

"Kira! Wait... please tell me I've hallucinated the past three weeks." Kira shook her head. "I have video proof that you didn't And this fairy did it all to you." She pointed. Artemis ran, screaming at the small person.

Kira suddenly remembered. Artemis had the communicator. In his bag, which he still carried around even when he was Danny. "She flippe dit on and called Holl. But she didnt talk, she let Holly whatch.

She repressed giggles as Gurdy dodged Artemis' flailing attack.

Holly was stunned. when Kira slipped at not in front of the screen. She thought that had gotten rid of gurdy!

Caren suddenly tackled Kira. "Give me the communicator!"

Luckily, Caren was still as weak as a flea. Kira easily knocked her down.

"Knew those Karate lessons were worth something," she grunted, punching and kicking.

Eventually, Caren didn't get back up. Kira turned her attention to the screen. Holly had left a not saying. 'Be right there.'

So, she just watched Artemis' fighting style. It was quite hilarious. Kira quickly punched record on the communicator.

Kira quickly took over. After fighting for 2 hours, Holly got there.

"This has got to be the funniest thing I've ever seen," she said.

"You can't take a mud girl!" she laughed hysterically only pausing to grab Gurdy.

"New laws," Holly smirked. "On very special occasions, we can."

Trouble showed up and snagged Gurdy from Holly. Holly went to get Caren.

"Well Arty, let's go back home."

"It's not that easy." Holly told her.

"Wait. Can we get expelled from this school?" Artemis asked, with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Holly grinned. "I don't see why not."

"We'll look up ways tonight in the handbook." Kira said smiling. 'Holly call us when you figure everything out."

-----------A week later---------

Kira grinned. "Maybe the choco pudd fight... every day... was too much."

"Our maybe it was the rude notes to the teachers." Artemis finished.

"It could have been the salami on the wall which did us in," "But at least we are going home," they said together.

Artemis leaned his plane seat back. "It'll be good to be home."

The End

THANK YOU FOR READING

check out our third and final story soon! "Turn Around Again 3: Over The Line"

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